“You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God... and where can you go from there?”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 109 of 1263
“The tarter the apple, the tastier the cider.”
“Anything you do, you better enjoy it for its value. Because people are going to second-guess everything you do.”
“Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.”
“Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.”
“If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”
“Uncle Sam took up the challenge in the year of '33 For the farmer and the factory and all of you and me. He said, "Roll along Columbia. You can ramble to the sea, But river while you're ramblin' you can do some work for me."”
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”
“People are bloody ignorant apes.”
“Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that… Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. And we laugh, we laugh, with a will, in the beginning. But it's always the same thing. Yes, it's like the funny story we have heard too often, we still find it funny, but we don't laugh any more.”
“What I never understand about a hangover is, where does the breath come from? You know what I mean? I mean, is someone shitting in your mouth?”
“Sleep with me sleep with my dogs-”
“So munch on, crunch on, take your nuncheon, Breakfast, supper, dinner, luncheon!”
“There are sneakers that cost more than an iPod.”
“My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.”
“However desperate the situation and circumstances, don't despair. When there is everything to fear, be unafraid. When surrounded by dangers, fear none of them. When without resources, depend on resourcefulness. When surprised, take the enemy by surprise.”
“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
“The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.”
“Sometimes, when you want to laugh, reality steps in.”