“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 133 of 1263
“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”
“What a strange world we live in...Said Alice to the Queen of hearts”
“If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.”
“People call it Valentines Day, I call it Tuesday.”
“If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?”
“Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.”
“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”
“It was too much Tequila, or not quite enough.”
“You have to eat to cook. You can't be a good cook and be a noneater. I think eating is the secret to good cooking.”
“Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for.”
“I got a kick out of having a big bankroll in my pocket. Even if I only made a couple hundred dollars, I'd always keep it in fives and tens so it'd look big.”
“When something weighs on your conscience, give it up.”
“With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go.”
“A woman puts on a new dress eyeliner lip gloss to please others. A woman paints her toes to please herself. And if there was one thing I was familiar with it was pleasing...There's no way to finish that sentence without embarrassing myself.”
“I could go on to speak of sanity as compared with insanity, decency as compared with vandalism, friendship as compared with rabies.”
“Puddleglum,' they've said, 'You're altogether too full of bobance and bounce and high spirits. You've got to learn that life isn't all fricasseed frogs and ell pie. You want something to sober you down a bit. We're only saying it for your own good, Puddleglum.' That's what they say. Now a job like this --a journey up north just as winter's beginning looking for a prince that probably isn't there, by way of ruined city nobody's ever seen-- will be just the thing. If that doesn't steady a chap, I don't know what will.”
“There’s nothing as glamorous to me as a record store.”
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
“The real revolution is the revolution of consciousness and each one of us first needs to eliminate the divisionary, materialistic noise we have been conditioned to think is true; while discovering, amplifying, and aligning with the signal coming from our true empirical oneness. It is up to you.”