“Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 159 of 1263
“Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.”
“The crazy ones only laugh when there is no reason to laugh.”
“Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.”
“Twenty-some states in the United States have statutes that say showing the nipples to children is oscene. That's the first thing we come into contact with when we arrive on this palnet: a woman's breasts!”
“An image is better than one thousand words”
“Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.”
“I always want to say to people who want to be rich and famous: 'try being rich first'. See if that doesn't cover most of it. There's not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job.”
“You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.”
“Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.”
“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”
“As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.”
“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.”
“Ideas come from everything”
“You can't make souffle rise twice.”
“I just do art because I’m ugly and there’s nothing else for me to do.”
“I love people who make me laugh!”
“There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and foget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity.”
“It's us fun being a horse when the tractor comes along, or the blacksmith when the car comes along.”
“We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.”