“Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 162 of 1263
“What have future generations ever done for us?”
“Life without music is meaningless, music without life is academic.”
“I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.”
“The average woman falls in love seven times a year. Only six are with shoes.”
“Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.”
“By the way, I do not wear a hose. My hose is my own. No coke bottle, nothing stuffed down there.”
“Which form of proverb do you prefer Better late than never, or Better never than late?”
“It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”
“Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.”
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
“My best works are erotic displays of mental confusions.. with intrusions of irrelevant information.”
“That face. That body. And you know he’s packing. Look at the angle on that dangle.”
“The single greatest invention man ever conceived in the dollar bill, because I don't want to know the conversion rate for coconuts.”
“Nobody ever saw a cowboy on the psychiatrist's couch.”
“We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.”
“Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep...in a giant blender.”
“Don't disrespect the sword marshmallow.”
“I think the leading cause of financial disablement is the belief that you can rely on the experts to help you. Investing requires an intense personal involvement.”
“Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive.”