Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 2 of 1263

Che Guevara Revolutionary, Guerrilla Leader
Funny

“Democracy cannot consist solely of elections that are nearly always fictitious and managed by rich landowners and professional politicians.”

Marcus Aurelius Philosopher, Emperor
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“Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself "I'll do it tomorrow," and how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself. It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time. Use every moment wisely, to perceive your inner refulgence, or 'twill be gone and nevermore within your reach.”

Prince Musician, Singer, Songwriter
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“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!”

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Joseph Stalin Politician, Revolutionary
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“Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege.”

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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”

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LG
Lewis Grizzard Author, Humorist
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“I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.”

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LG
Lewis Grizzard Author, Humorist
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“There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.”

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Dwight D. Eisenhower Military Leader, Politician
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“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.”

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LG
Lewis Grizzard Author, Humorist
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“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”

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Lewis Grizzard Author, Humorist
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“Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"”

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Sigmund Freud Neurologist, Psychoanalyst
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“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower Military Leader, Politician
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“If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.”