“You can't have everything. Where would you put it?”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 5 of 1263
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.This was said by gene wilder ... what does it mean ?”
“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
“People will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.”
“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.”
“Watch your back, but more importantly when you get out the shower, dry your back. Its a cold world out there.”
“I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.”
“There will be, in the next generation or so, a pharmacological method of making people love their servitude, and producing dictatorship without tears, so to speak, producing a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies, so that people will in fact have their liberties taken away from them, but will rather enjoy it.”
“Don’t you love the Oxford Dictionary? When I first read it, I thought it was a really really long poem about everything.”
“Why party like it is 1999 when you can party like it is your birthday?”
“In dealing with a man who thinks you are a fool, it is good sometimes to remind him that you know what he knows but have chosen to appear foolish for the sake of peace.”
“Women are the most charitable creatures, and the most troublesome. He who shuns women passes up the trouble, but also the benefits. He who puts up with them gains the benefits, but also the trouble. As the saying goes, there's no honey without bees.”
“Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed.”
“It’s ridiculous to talk about freedom in a society dominated by huge corporations. What kind of freedom is there inside a corporation? They’re totalitarian institutions - you take orders from above and maybe give them to people below you. There’s about as much freedom as under Stalinism.”
“That's the standard technique of privatization: defund, make sure things don't work, people get angry, you hand it over to private capital.”
“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”
“Act your age, not your shoe size.”
“De omnibus dubitandum”