“It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 67 of 1263
“Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.”
“The sumptuous age of stars and images is reduced to a few artificial tornado effects, pathetic fake buildings, and childish tricks which the crowd pretends to be taken in by to avoid feeling too disappointed. Ghost towns, ghost people. The whole place has the same air of obsolescence about it as Sunset or Hollywood Boulevard.”
“No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.”
“Only in America, Rabbi Golden, do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and down Collins Avenue in Florida in pedalpushers and mink stoles - and with opinions on every subject under the sun. It isn't their fault they were given a gift like speech - look, if cows could talk, they would say things just as idiotic.”
“It has become quite a common proverb that in wine there is truth (In Vino Veritas).”
“If you can get humor and seriousness at the same time, you've created a special little thing, and that's what I'm looking for, because if you get pompous, you lose everything.”
“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food”
“When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
“Sometimes life gives us lessons sent in ridiculous packaging.”
“I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”
“The very nature of cool is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool.”
“Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.”
“If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.”
“I don't concern myself with award. I'd been to the party enough times to know it really didn't matter.”
“When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.”
“To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains.”
“A fan once asked if he could have a piece of my hair for voodoo. I said no, so he hugged me and plucked out a couple of hairs and ran off.”
“Laughter is carbonated holiness.”
“There's many a man hath more hair than wit.”