“Some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I just sorta do 'em all together, I guess.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 44 of 1263
“But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
“Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.”
“A friend to all is a friend to none.”
“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
“Life will show you masks that are worth all your carnivals”
“Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.”
“It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.”
“One should not attend even the end of the world without a good breakfast.”
“I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.”
“Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.”
“If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.”
“You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.”
“It was with a homosexual, I was barely 14 years old. But let's be fair, I wasn't the only one who did it. He was a man in Bauru that all our team visited.”
“The science of psychology has been far more successful on the negative than on the positive side... It has revealed to us much about man's shortcomings, his illnesses, his sins, but little about his potentialities, his virtues, his achievable aspirations or his psychological health... We must find out what psychology might be if it could free itself from the stultifying effects of limited, pessimistic and stingy preoccupations with human nature.”
“I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.”
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
“When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.”
“Some people like what you do, some people hate what you do, but most people simply don't give a damn.”