“I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 41 of 1263
“There are three kinds of people: 1. Innovators. 2. Imitators. 3. Idiots.”
“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”
“You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.”
“There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
“I am an intelligent drunk because an intelligent drunk carries his liquor with him”
“I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat.”
“Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.”
“I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.”
“There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.”
“Time is for dragonflies and angels. The former live too little and the latter live too long.”
“All we ask is to be let alone.”
“Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.”
“Doubts raced through my mind as I considered the feasibility of enforcing a law which the majority of honest citizens didn't seem to want.”
“I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.”
“Wave to the haters like nanananana.”
“There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.”
“Every person should take a lesson from history. We should understand that wherever there have been internal fights and conflicts in the country, the country has been weakened. Due to this, the danger from outside increases. The country has to pay a big price due to this type of weakness.”
“When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.”
“I get paid for what most kids get punished for.”