Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 148 of 1263

Gracie Allen Actress, Comedian
Funny

“I'm the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.”

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Franz Liszt Composer, Pianist
Funny

“I am not fond of speaking about politics because I don't have in my possession an army of 200,000 soldiers.”

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Mark Twain Writer, Humorist
Funny

“If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.”

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Mark Twain Writer, Humorist
Funny

“Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

Mark Twain Writer, Humorist
Funny

“When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.”

Jimmy Buffett Musician, Author
Funny

“Give me oysters and beer, for dinner every day of the year, and I'll be fine.”

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John Green Author, YouTuber
Funny

“They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”

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Marshall McLuhan Philosopher, Media Theorist
Funny

“There are many people for whom 'thinking' necessarily means identifying with existing trends.”

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Murray Walker Motorsport Commentator
Funny

“[Andrea De Cesaris is] the man who has won more Grands Prix than anybody else in the history of Grand Prix racing without actually winning one of them.”

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Klay Thompson Professional Basketball Player
Funny

“As a rule, I do not approve of messing around with coffee. No sugar, no milk, no chocolate, hazelnuts, cinnamon, no nothing.... Just drink it black, the way God does”

Prince Philip Royalty
Funny

“Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.”

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Edward Said Literary Theorist, Critic, and Author
Funny

“... the connection between imperial politics and culture is astonishingly direct. American attitudes to American "greatness", to hierarchies of race, to the perils of "other" revolutions (the American revolution being considered unique and somehow unrepeatable anywhere else in the world) have remained constant, have dictated, have obscured, the realities of empire, while apologists for overseas American interests have insisted on American innocence, doing good, fighting for freedom.”

Elizabeth I Queen
Funny

“[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in the presence of the Queen:] My Lord, I had forgot the fart.”

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